Thank you so much for your encouraging words. My husband is doing so much better, much more like himself.

I am thankful that we have Christian brothers and sisters all over this country that will pray with us and for us.

It’s wonderful to have found this website and you are an encouragement to me.

One day at a time, and each day gets better and better. I know that adversity draws us closer to God.

Thank you for having this website. I’ll keep you posted on my husband’s recovery.

There is some very good information about changes in behavior, emotions and thinking following a stroke in the publication HOPE: A Stroke Recovery Guide(Appendix B).

You can download a free PDF copy at http://www.stroke.org/site/DocServer/hope_full.pdf?docID=921

Even equipped with this information, it’s still hard to deal with the reality of those personality changes in someone you love. There were several times I had to bite my tongue to keep from replying to a hurtful remark Steve made. He didn’t realize how he was coming across to me, but I understood it was coming out of frustration.

He told me he feels trapped because he can’t come and go freely as he did before, and I am his key to escape.

In the beginning, Steve was very easily distracted and couldn’t keep focused. His thought processes were slow too, but that is coming back. A speech pathologist worked with him on that for the first few months.

Every stroke is different, therefore every recovery process has a different timeline. I wanted answers from all the doctors, nurses and therapists, but they couldn’t give me any definite answers because they didn’t know. Your situation is unique to you, but don’t settle for any negativity from the professionals. Keep expecting your husband to recover, and keep encouraging him that he will.

Remind him of the good times you had together with the anticipation that you’ll be able to do those things again. Steve said when I talked like that to him, it gave him hope and the drive to keep fighting to get better. Depression can set in very easily, so it’s imperative that you keep positive around him.

To help you cope and vent, try journaling your thoughts, fears and prayers. God’s grace is sufficient for you too.

Take pictures or videos of your husband during therapy because you’ll want him to look back and see the progress he’s made.

Try to re-focus his attention on what he’s accomplishing instead of letting him dwell on what he’s lost. Celebrate every new accomplishment as a victory because they lead to the big accomplishments.

It was 8 wks. before there was any movement in Steve’s hand. When I saw him voluntarily move his fingers ever so slightly, I rejoiced and he thought I was nuts. But now he can grasp and squeeze my hand.

To help him stay positive, I posted some scripture verses on the walls of his room so they would encourage him when I couldn’t be there.

“All things are possible to him who believes.” Mark 9:23

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”
2 Corinthians 12:9

“God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” Ephesians 3:20

These verses gave him hope. We also had many visitors from our church and family who came and prayed with him. That made a huge impact on him. In spite of the challenges, the stroke has had some very positive effects on him and has brought him closer to God.

Most of all, Debbie, be assured that God loves you and your husband, and He has a wonderful plan for your lives. He is the strength of your life and your portion forever. He loves you with an everlasting love. To hear a wonderful narration of God’s love letter to you, go to http://www.FathersLoveLetter.com/
It will inspire and encourage you.

I hope this helps. You’re not alone. Steve and I are praying for both of you.

Kathy

I know God is in control and I trust that every day of my life.

His actions are somewhat childlike at different times and then other times are perfectly normal. He has some difficulty with making decisions and his thought process still seem somewhat slow at times.

One day at a time……

Any insight you can give me is greatly appreciated, and thank you so much for your prayers.

I’m so sorry to hear about your husband’s stroke, but thank God that he is a survivor!!

Stroke is a brain injury, and the area of the brain that was affected will determine the type of changes in his body and personality. Some brain cells were shocked while others were destroyed. The shocked brain cells may take months to heal. Your husband’s stroke was only 5 weeks ago, so you are seeing the worst of the symptoms.

In Steve, his emotions have been greatly affected and he cries easily. He’s much more tender-hearted now. No, I should say his feelings are more obvious now. He always felt that way before, but he didn’t express himself the way he does now. But I have noticed lately that he isn’t quite as emotional as he was several months ago.

His judgment was skewed too. He always thought about how much things cost, and would take forever to make a purchase because he would comparison shop for months before buying anything. Soon after the stroke, he talked about spending money on this and that. He watched a lot of the shopping network in the nursing home and he told me he wished he had a credit card to buy something. That was so unlike him! That change lasted for several months, but now he is getting back to his old self.

So although you see those changes in your husband now, Debbie, it doesn’t mean they will last forever. You will have to be patient and not take things personally. He’s not his old self yet and it will take time. But don’t give up hope, and lavish lots of love on him in spite of the changes. Let the comments roll off your back, and ask God to give you the grace to go through this. Pray and stand firm. Your husband is experiencing changes in his body and it’s frustrating to him. Like Steve says, “You’re not in Kansas anymore, just down some yellow brick road not knowing where it’s leading to.”

What type of personality changes are you seeing in your husband? If you can give me some more specifics, I’ll ask Steve to share his thoughts, and perhaps he can give you some more insight.

If you would like me to personally pray with you, I will be happy to do so.

Love & prayers, Kathy

My husband had a stroke on July 19th of this year. Although he is recovering well, his personality has changed. Did you go through this with your husband and if so, does it come back in time?

That is the hardest part of this for me.

Thanks for your blog. It helps to know that others are out there going through the same thing.