StrokeSurvivorBlog

Stroke survivors deal with frustration on a daily basis. Their body won’t work like they want it too, so they may take out their frustration on others, especially their caregivers. As Steve’s full-time caregiver, I am witness to much of his frustration and I feel helpless to help him. This can add to my frustration as well.

It’s easy to feel weary and overwhelmed by all the responsibilities and work that must be done. With limited funds, it is impossible to hire out all the work. In addition to assisting Steve in his everyday care like bathing, dressing, meals, toileting, and therapy, there’s also yard work, cleaning, laundry, cooking, grocery shopping and running to doctors’ appointments.  My nighttime sleep is often interrupted when he can’t sleep well, and the lack of sleep is often my undoing.

As caregivers we want to do our best to help the stroke survivor. It’s a 24/7 job, but if the caregiver isn’t careful, he/she will get run down, become irritable or resentful, and eventually get sick. So, the most important thing a caregiver can do is to take care of herself/himself. If something happens to the caregiver, then the stroke survivor is in real trouble. We’re not supposed to be super-human. No one is keeping score. We just do our best. We may have to let some things go like the cleaning and yard work. This is the hardest thing for me to do, because I like things looking really nice. I tend to be a workaholic, but for my own sanity’s sake, I’ve learned to be more laid back, and take time for myself. I’ve had to let go of my perfectionism.

What I need to do is schedule some fun and relaxation into my life. I make the schedule and I don’t have to pack it full of appts. I’m only hurting myself and Steve by not taking time for myself. It’s okay to let others do things for me like making a meal, or doing odd jobs without feeling guilty.

Another thing that is important to me is to take time in the morning (before Steve gets up) to read my Bible and ask God to fill me with his strength and grace so I can carry out my assignment as caregiver. If the morning doesn’t work, I try to find some quiet moments later in the day when he’s snoozing, because that quiet time with God renews my strength and gives me great peace.