StrokeSurvivorBlog

It’s hard to ask for help when you need it the most, especially when you or a loved one is going through a crisis like an illness, accident or tragedy. When an incident like this occurs and is ongoing for more than a few weeks, help is needed. Oftentimes, the parent or spouse of a sick patient gets easily worn out from the constant trips to the hospital or for caring for their loved one. They are mentally and physically exhausted, and need others to come alongside to help in their time of need.

“A true friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.”  Proverbs 17:17

When my husband had a stroke, many people casually said to me, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help” or “Call me if you need anything.” I never did ask these people for help. Not because I didn’t need it, but because I questioned their sincerity. To me their offer to help was just a pleasant nicety.

Then there was a group of people who insisted on helping. They repeatedly asked me what they could do. Friends from our church kept calling the church office to see if they knew what they could do to help. One of our pastors called me to tell me this, and asked me to make a list of things I needed done. Then they scheduled a work day to come to the house to take care of those things. It really helped that they were coordinating everything. All I had to do was give them a list.

However, making a list wasn’t easy for me. Some of the things I needed done seemed so trivial, and other things I didn’t know I needed until I needed it. Steve used to take care of most of these things around the house, so I wasn’t sure what needed to be done until something went wrong.

When a person is in this type of crisis situation, it’s hard for them to concentrate on anything other than their loved one. But now that I can think clearly, I’d like to pass onto you some ways that you can help others, and I offer a list that you can use to ask for help.

25 Practical Ways to Help in Time of Need

1. Give McDonald’s gift certificates, or bring a healthy salad, soup or sandwich to the hospital when you visit during the day. Junk food is easy to find, but not very nutritious for any length of time. I spent 3 months at my husband’s side while he was recovering. Hospital food is not very good and it’s expensive. McDonald’s has very good salads.

2. Take their car to get an oil change, washed or gassed up. I didn’t mind paying for these things, but I didn’t have time to do it.

3. Fill their water softener with salt

4. Clean the litter box or take the dog for a walk

5. Clean their house. Get several people together to vacuum, dust and scrub floors and bathrooms.

6. Do laundry: Wash, dry, fold and put away

7. Make a meal for other family members at home

8. Change bed sheets and wash the dirty ones

9. Replace burned out light bulbs

10. Do grocery shopping

11. Drive the kids to and from school, or to activities they’re involved in

12. Help the kids with homework

13. Take the kids to scouts, ball practice, or other activities

14. Make minor household repairs

15. Clean out the refrigerator

16. Water plants

17. Do yard work: Cut grass, rake leaves, remove snow

18. Wash dishes or load the dishwasher; empty and put away

19. Run errands

20. Wash windows and screens

21. Install storm windows or doors for the winter

22. Empty wastebaskets and take out the trash

23. Clean furnace filters

24. Update others on the status of the situation. Our church office was notified so they knew how to respond to people asking how we were doing. It was very tiring for me to repeat the status of Steve’s condition to everyone who asked, so I sent out bulk emails to those who were interested. Most hospitals have public computers to be used just for this reason, but it takes time to enter email addresses. Someone who is computer savvy could do this. (Note: This is how my blog got started.)

25. Take your friend out for lunch so he/she can get away from the situation for awhile.

And one more thing that everyone can do is pray. Pray that God will strengthen, encourage and sustain them during their time of trouble.