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Being a Burden is a Concern for Stroke Survivor
The thought of being a burden is a concern for many stroke survivors including my husband, Steve, who feels like he’s such a huge burden to me. But yet I don’t feel like he is.
I have to be very careful not to show my frustration to him when things become difficult for me. Sometimes it’s hard doing everything by myself, and there are times when I get frustrated when things don’t go right. When he sees that, he feels like a burden and blames himself. He’ll say things like: “If I wasn’t so useless, you wouldn’t have to go through this” or “When I was a human I could have helped you” or “I’m just a useless piece of sh–!”
His helpless condition is so devastating for him because he was so capable before his stroke. He was the one who took care of me and the house. As a former home builder, he knew how to fix and repair almost everything around the house. Now it has fallen on my shoulders to do the work myself, ask other family members to do it, or hire it done, which is very expensive. Being a burden to his family is not how Steve wants to live, and this has resulted in much negativity and depression.
I feel so helpless when he thinks that way, and it takes a lot to encourage him. My attitude and disposition makes all the difference in the world though, and I have to stay close to the Lord and rely on Him as my source of strength. Believe it or not, that is the secret to staying positive and joyful in the midst of difficult circumstances. When I have the mind of Christ, my frustration level goes way down because he fills me with his peace. When Steve sees me staying in peace, it makes him feel better about things too. But until he’s able to care for himself and help me, he’ll always feel like he’s a burden to me.
Do any of you other stroke survivors feel like a burden to your family? Please share your concerns with me. Thanks.
Kathy
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Dear Kathy, I understand your pain,and your peace ,I have same situation my husband is homeemprovement buss. had a sroke, trying to walk, cant use his right, and cant speek. are daily life is beyound belief,as I breath I pray, I cant sleep, we have just recently had a few sieziers… what a shock.My husband feels afraid and useless.. not to mention a burden I do every thing In my power to make sure he sees a smile almost part of the day. for us the pain on the right side keeps us preocupied, he looks around and wants to do so much for him to work arond his house was his life he built our home,we pray constantly, and through prayer we come a long way. and I must remember that..thanking God always, my prayers for you both I think of you often, an inspiration to us. GOD Bless diane
July 24th, 2010 at 6:05 ami hope i’m not overloading too many email on here. i keep reading and it’s making me so scared and overwhelmed, my man Leon was known as ‘superman’ his abilities prior to this were absolutely huge and he was a tradesman of everything…..now i have to think of everything…..i’m so scared….i work full time, how will i feel safe to let him go home to a place alone as i need to work for the money, what’s the go with the seizures? how can i prevent these and monitor them or feel safe at work worrying about him at home? the hospital say they’ll probably release Leon in around 2 months, i don’t know if thats cos they need the beds or wat but i know he hates being there….but if he gets home what then? how will i get thru all of this nightmare……
October 12th, 2010 at 10:32 amI feel this way daily. I used to do so much and so easily. now walking to the loo is often like mountain climbing. My d/h has to do everything and smiles as he does it.It seems so unfair to him. Hopefully I can soon help or at least be less fearful of the future.
April 10th, 2011 at 10:18 am