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Moving on to New Things
It’s been months since I’ve posted to this blog. Probably because I didn’t have any encouraging news to tell. But the truth of the matter is that I can’t and shouldn’t keep reporting only good news, because that is not reality with stroke survivors.
My husband Steve is experiencing a lot of pain in his left leg, so he doesn’t want to move very much, and as a result, the pain is getting worse from sitting so much. He sits in his lift chair and he doesn’t spend much time outside anymore. It grieves my heart to see him deteriorate like this, but there is nothing I can do except to help ease his physical pain.
He was doing so well at one point, but now he just wants to be put out of his misery. He lost hope and doesn’t believe he can improve. The uphill battle is so hard for him. Yet he still has dreams where he is able-bodied and building houses again. Then he wakes up and reality and hopelessness set in.
I have tried so hard to encourage him, but my words fall on deaf ears because he just doesn’t believe it. All things are possible to him who believes, so if he loses that, he loses all hope of ever recovering. There is no fight left in him. So I have found another interest to keep myself motivated and make some extra money, yet being flexible enough to stay at home to care for him when he needs me.
A few months ago, a desire grew within me to become an Independent Beauty Consultant along with my daughter Stephanie. This has brought me much joy and a lot of fun, along with dozens of new friends. My life continues to go on instead of wallowing in self-pity. I spend my free time doing something that encourages me and helps others. Too much time around a negative person can drag you down completely, so teaching skin care classes and making women look their best is a good outlet for me.
This may sound selfish to some people, but I learned that my life as a caregiver was all-consuming, and I needed to do something that was fun to keep me vibrant and alive. Steve’s condition is such that it allows me to get away for a few hours at a time. Last month I went to Dallas for the Mary Kay Seminar while our youngest daughter Kari stayed with him. That was a tremendous blessing to me to actually get completely away for a few days. Although Steve missed me, I know he enjoyed his time with her and it brought them closer together.
So if some of you have been wondering where I am or how we’re doing, that’s the scoop. I hope to start posting a little bit more often and I would love to hear that you’re still out there cheering us on.
Blessings to you,
Kathy
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I’m sorry that steve is experiencing pain and in a rough patch. In no way at all do I think your Mary Kay activities are selfish – if you can’t have your own bit of time for yourself, you will not be the best caregiver to your husband.
August 25th, 2011 at 2:54 pmHang in there.
Thank you, Farrell. I appreciate your understanding.
August 25th, 2011 at 3:10 pmWell I can tell you this. I know exactly what Steve is going threw. Because I was in the same boat about a year ago. And in some ways I think I still am. I had my stroke at the age of only 2 years old. There are 2 things that keep me going in life. The first is my faith in God. Knowing that I am only here for the moment and that there will be a day that I won’t have any pain or effects and be stroke free. Remember “We can do all things threw Christ” Now the second thing is I try to keep myself busy working on my websites/blogs. BTW even if you think that your encouragements are falling on deaf ears, I can tell you that they are not. Every survivor will go threw times like this at some point. I am telling you even if it seems like he is not hearing what you have to say. HE IS.
September 19th, 2011 at 2:04 pmMichael…..THANK YOU!! You have encouraged me immensely to keep encouraging Steve!!!
September 19th, 2011 at 2:52 pmJust found your blog website today. Had a stroke after surgery to fix my epilepsy last year. thanks for all the work you have done on this site. Plenty of info and will suggest it to my family for reference. I felt the depression bit as well after the hospital. But my kids showed me the TV shoe GLEE and it helped me listening to music again.
September 21st, 2011 at 2:18 pmI am sorry about the pain Steve feels. I am eight years out from my stroke. Please, make sure he knows that even after eight years I occasionally realize that progress is being made reaching small milestones. Never give up or forget hope. The longer it was from the date of the incident the slower I found my progress, yet progress was still be made.
I am glad you had the opportunity to get away. It is good for your soul. I can’t imagine being on the giving end of care; however, being on the receiving end I can tell you how appreciated you truly must be.
I wish you both well.
December 7th, 2011 at 11:37 amThank you Tara. Your words were very encouraging to Steve.
December 13th, 2011 at 10:47 pmKathy, i had a stoke in may of 2010, it also effected my left side. unfortunately, theraphy just doesn’t last long enough, once you can function they stop authorizing it. but let steve know that there are thousands of us who have suffered a stroke and with a little hard work he can get his life back. my stroke was massive, but i have returned to work and to driving albiet with one hand. but i make it work by being cautious and always taking the less traveled road.
February 16th, 2012 at 12:50 pmbesides my left arm not being functional, i get around just fine. i have found that by placing a heel lift in my left shoe that helps me walk with a more normal gate. also have steve maintain his facial exercises, that is one thing that i slacked off on and i can’t carry a long conversation without my jaws getting tired. also i started using my tens electric Stimulation again on my left hand to help increase the blood flow to helpwith getting more movement in the hand and fingers, so far it seems to helping, also walking on a treadmill will help his gait. he just has to stay committed and he gain regain a large part of his independence back. stay strong
Bob, thanks for the encouraging words. I’ll pass them along to Steve. I’m glad to hear you’re doing so well and have learned to work around your disability. Good for you!!!
February 16th, 2012 at 1:08 pm